got this from CHICKEN SOUP 4 THE TEENAGER SOUL

don`t be fooled by me
cos i wear a mask, a thousand masks
that i`m just to afraid to take off
& none of them is me

pretending is an art that`s second nature to me
my only hope & i know it
is acceptance & if it`s followed by love

it`s the only thing that can liberate me from myself
from my own self-built prison walls
from the barriers i so painstakingly erect

it`s the only thing that will asure me
of what i can`t assure myself
that i`m worth something

who am i, you may wonder
i am someon you know very well
for i am every man you meet
& i am every woman you meet

new entry inspired by eenybOo =)

in·fat·u·a·tion n.
               1. A foolish, unreasoning, or extravagant passion or attraction.

so yeah ..i just wanna get this off mah chest. venting entry up in the QUiCKS !

             lately, there's been alotta people that be puttin me down, disappointing me. it's funny how you thought you knew it all, knew everything but then something happens and it's like you see something in a whole new light. everything is changed and now i see everyone in a new different perspective ...and i guess ill have to accept it but imma be blunt about it. im not gonna look at yall the same way again ..i know rye about now some people are going "HUH"? but yeah ..just act like ya know =P ..

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 » for three guys who i stiLL care about a lot .

                i thought i was ready to start anew, move on, but everytime i try, someone always ends up hurting me, and im back where i started. what i don't get is ...if you wasn't ready for a relationship why didnt you just tell me str8 up in the first place instead of just stringing me along while i was expecting something to come out of it. i guess i just thought differently ..i kinda regret not telling you how i feel right there and then when you asked me if i had something to say. cuz boi i DID i have alotta things to say ..but iono i guess i felt it was useless explaining ..like you cared anyways rye? ..and even after that, i still had feelings for you. but after that day ...something changed. i find myself liking you less and less each day ...but honestly a part of me is still there ..liking you, hoping that something ...ehhh. i wonder why i bother writing this when no one's gonna read any of this anyways ...but yeah ..because of you, i given up on someone that could of been reallie great for me. he's really nice and considerate of your feelings ....and alluh that good shit. but the thing was i was feeling you boi. and i know you guys are prolly thinking ..well if the first guy's outta the question, go back with the second guy. but truthfully, its not that easy, i ain't like that and i wouldnt wanna do or mislead anyone ..because i know i wouldn't wanna be anyone's sloppy seconds. and plus ...yes, in the back of my mind ..there's this waiting. but why  should i wait for you ..when your too scared to move on, when your too wrapped up in your own problems to take the chance .*sighs*

                 this love shit is gay .......i hate how its making me feel. i hate how im lost in it. i hate how its making me confused.i guess all that's left to say is that i want you to be happy so if your being happy is not with me, then i guess ill have to accept it. sometimes ..i dont even know who i like ..or how this heart of mine works because i dont even know how i feel sometimes..because i always look back in the past. i know me and this other  guy are thru and all ..far from it too and i know i keep on telling myself that i dont like him and stuff to convince myself that i don't like him ...because i don't want to, but everytime we run into each other, the feelings, the memories, they all come rushing back and it's like ..why can't you get out of my head get out of my heart! ARGH! so as of now, i guess im just fed up with boys entirely...until someone can change my mind.

yuppppp. just contemplating i hope this doesn't make it seem like im depressed and shit cuz im not. im just telling yall all like it is and that's what i think.....eprops & comments much appreciated.

WASSUP XANGER BANGERS ! =)

so yeah SPRING BREAK '04, hope everybody had a good one. its sunday ..sadly, its my last day of spring break and im filled with so much homework. its okay though, i dont need to go out today. i went out TOO damn much this week. i didnt' get to chill with alluh the people i wanted to chill with during my spring break as much as i wanted too ..but its AG ALL GOOD! =) i met new faces, and it was fun chilling with yall =) and last, i've gotten closer and closer with eeny. i luh you ma =) there was also some drama here and there ...but im not gonna let it get to me. if you REALLY cared about me ..you wouldn't have done what chu did ..think about it.

++ highlights of my spring break ! [ summing it up ]

» drinking sessions @ uncle jess's

» shopping with my cuzzin kim-ngan and chheng for prom

» chillen with eeny and her cuzzin janice @ her dorm in UIC

» walking around Willow Road for about 1 min. LOLS damn fucking deers!

» speeding on the highways, me being scared hahha!

» HAPPiE BiRTHDAY MARTiN! sowwie i couldn't make it..you know i would if i could ...

» woodfield , old orchard shopping

» the McDonalds drive thru that didn't want to serve us ..LOLS!

» HAPPiE EASTER !

» got thru lent season w/o touching any hot cheetos . WOO HOO! =) trust me..the temptation was great.

» watching the sunrise @ 5 in the morning

» sleeping in the oh so so cold car ...

» driving around ..with nowhere to go LOLS. 10Q! 10Q! hahahhahahha

» willow road again ...this time getting caught up by skokie popo's . ugly bitches LOLS
» second hand smoking = BAD ..VERY BAD poor me

» meeting new people and sticking with the old, luh you kimmiepOoh =)

» hong kong buffet eating out

» danni's lil get together, me getting my children's book done. thanks niko,chris,nancy,and eeny!

» hoteL party
» much much goofying around and constantly laughing '

» drinking party @ fritz' krib chillen with them mather heads =P

» staying out late ass hell, sometimes not even going home, getting my ass in trouble. but in the end, its all worth it

- me and my ate jay ! just wanted to post these up cuz i miss her oh so very much i need a pic with you tats!<3333

EDIT! me and my girls kimmiepOoh and eeny =)))) OH HOW I LOVE MY BEBES' SO MUCH =D






..ERR some of the pics don't work !

NEW JOiNT » USHER _ SiMPLE THiNGS !

it's the simple things in life we forget
You hear her talkin' but don't hear what she said
Why do you make something so easy so complicated
Searching for what's right in front of your face
But you can't see it ....

......YUP, im sowwie no other pictures this time. got lazy. but you can stiLL leave me some of those lovely eprops and comments please. mOooOahs =)))